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- Purchase a turkey of about 5 pounds for 6 people and a bottle of whisky, salt, pepper, olive oil and lard.

- Lard the turkey, cook it, add salt and pepper and a drizzle of olive oil. Preheat the oven to 250 degrees for 10 minutes.

- In the meantime pour a glass of whisky.

- Put the turkey in the oven on a baking dish. Pour two glasses of whisky.

- Put the heat on to 300 degrees and cook for 20 minutes. Then, pour 3 more glasses of whisky.

- After half an hour, open the oven door and check the turkey.

- Take the bottle of whisky and pour it in its throat. After another 30 minutes check the oven again.

- Open the damn door and turn the turkey in the opposite way.

- I burnt my hand with the oven door, close it - damn.

- Try to sit down on a damn chair and pour a whisky of glass or the opposite, I don’t know.

- Harm - no,-arm - no cooking, no, oh yes, cook the animal for 4 hours.

Eh hop! A glass of whisky is always appreciated.

- Take the oven from the turkey.

- Sip a bit of whisky. 
Try again to extract the bone, because the first time we didn’t succeeded. Pick the turkey up that fell on the floor.

- Wipe it with a lousy rag and throw it on a cat, a madman, a plate. Who cares about it?
Breaking your face because of the fat left on the ceiling, on the cousin’s floor and try to stand up!

- Decide that it is better be all on the ground, laughing with the belly up in the air and drink up the bottle of whisky.

- Jump on the bed and sleep all night long.

- Eat the turkey cold with mayonnaise next morning and for the rest of the day cleaning up the mess made in the kitchen.

Febo, the Gnome

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